Tag: jokes
group name: wordstospeak
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September 05, 2008 01:22 PM EDT --
Sorry in advance to any blondes.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front . . . more
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September 06, 2008 01:05 PM EDT --
GM Like Computer Industry
Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer . . . more
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September 03, 2008 11:55 PM EDT --
You might be a redneck Jedi if...
You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
You have ever used your light saber to open a . . . more
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August 31, 2008 10:44 AM EDT --
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he will . . . more
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April 14, 2008 05:55 PM EDT --
I got this in my email as a joke.......................
When you are faking a pose for a camera photo opportunity, at least you can get the phone turned in the right direction! . . . more
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April 18, 2008 03:13 PM EDT --
The Pope at National Stadium
A semi original joke.
As the Pope walked into National stadium, one drunk guy in the bleachers was heard to say, PLAY BALL!"
A guy next . . . more
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July 17, 2008 02:50 AM EDT --
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like . . . more
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August 31, 2008 08:11 PM EDT --
An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"
Next door to her lived an atheist who . . . more
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September 02, 2008 12:39 PM EDT --
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
'I have a question to ask you, but I . . . more
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December 07, 2007 02:27 PM EST --
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows . . . more
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February 25, 2008 12:46 PM EST --
Brain Dysfunction
The only time she's not complaining is when she's asleep. ************************************************************************** Sharon: What are the only . . . more
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July 16, 2008 11:10 PM EDT --
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,
'Pick me up.'He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he
was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,'Pick . . . more
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May 16, 2008 01:16 PM EDT --
The author, who was probably a Qantas employee, had a good reason to be anonymous. He probably would have been fired if he got caught writing this.
Remember it takes a college degree to fly . . . more
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March 11, 2008 07:23 PM EDT --
I CAROL being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't . . . more
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January 22, 2008 02:46 PM EST --
I was just commenting on someone's article and it made me think of something funny I say to my husband when we are on a date. It is after he has just washed his hands after going to the bathroom . . . more
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April 05, 2008 12:29 PM EDT --
George Carlin on aging!
(Absolutely Brilliant)
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? . . . more
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June 11, 2008 10:20 AM EDT --
I didn't like the one about Stevie Wonder, but the rest of them were funny. I left the Stevie Wonder one in case others have a different taste. I am a Stevie Wonder fan.
1st Grade Logic . . . more
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August 24, 2008 12:49 PM EDT --
Pasta Diet
The Pasta Diet and Your Health
ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS!!
1. You walka pasta da bakery.
2. You walka pasta da candy store.
3. You walka pasta da ice cream . . . more
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November 21, 2007 04:16 PM EST --
My NEW PARROT
Recently I received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and
an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude,
obnoxious . . . more
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May 11, 2008 02:01 PM EDT --
Examples of mania are shown below:
Examples of personality disorder are shown below: . . . more
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